You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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