things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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