Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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