You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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