Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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