How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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