just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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