I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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