so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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