there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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