IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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