i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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