The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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