I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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