I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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