Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize