i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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