Don't you send me to vm
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize