i jhust puked up my retainher.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize