he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize