saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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