Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My first STD was from a foam party
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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