My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize