grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
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So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
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He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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