i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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