I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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