my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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