It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize