Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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