Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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