ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
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