Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It's Friday. Sex?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize