How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize