I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You are the jesus of drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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