Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize