It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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