About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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