WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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