haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
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In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
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We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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