U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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