never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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