I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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