yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize