im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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