god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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