so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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