dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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