I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
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Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
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Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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