what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize