My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize